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| 1) People who litter, and especially those who spit from their cars. 2) People who don't give way. 3) People who cut in the front just so they don't have to line up like everyone else. To the aforementioned idiots, Why do you think it's okay to dump your shit onto public areas where the bacteria from your filthy pus-filled mouth can fill the air? Swallow your own bloody phlegm if you can't find a tissue. Why is it so difficult to show some courtesy and let a signalling vehicle pass? Will giving way to one vehicle slow you down an hour or force you into bankruptcy or give you a terminal illness?? F*king idiots. Why do you think it's okay to cut in and make others who've been waiting patiently wait even longer just so you don't have to?? Who the fark do you think you are, assholes? Ok. Rant over. Back to work. | | |
| I cannot believe that I am awake at 8.30am. It's one thing to be awake because I haven't gone to bed yet and another to be awake because my eyes opened themselves at 6.30am in the middle of an awesome dream and won't go back to sleep!! EURGH!!
For the past two nights I've been dreaming of rebellion. First I dreamt that I was a member of some Chinese resistance movement committed to driving the British and the Japanese out of our homeland. It was a cool dream because I was such an awesome arsekicker in the dream. It was a romantic dream (ahh, how do we leave out romance?) because I met a boy there... So very mulan-ish. And just now, I dreamt that I was caught in the crossfire between the police and a gang of thugs who decided to use my hotel room as a hideout. In the end they proved to be softhearted rebels fighting for a cause, and of course I had to join them. We went to their hideout and they put me in a room and suddenly there were shots fired into the room from the opposite building and I jumped down and crawled to a corner and watched the bullets whiz by. Maybe all the excitement woke me up. :S
Oh and did I mention the tall brooding handsome dude who happens to have a son that I realised upon introduction is mine? Don't ask me how that figures. My brain thinks up the most outrageous things sometimes. Lol...
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| A few nights ago, I went out for a meeting with Calan and as we sat in the open air section of the cafe, I couldn't help noticing the air smelt of the sea even though we were in the heart of the city. I didn't think much about it then, but tonight when I made a trip to the grocer about a minute's walk away, I was again hit by that distinctive scent.
And I lingered for a while, comforted by thoughts of being on vacation at a beachside resort.
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| I am tired but I can't sleep. There are so many things - and yet there is nothing - swimming in my mind. I have lost the motivation to study for my last exam. I lost the appetite to eat. And now I can't even sleep.
Well at least I've put my insomnia to good use. Up till 2 minutes ago I was living in a sty so filthy and messy anyone could walk in and catch something within 5 minutes. Well now my desk is still messy, but at least the rest of the house, well, looks like a house again.
Ohlie's sitting at the sliding door, no doubt enjoying the sun. It's getting warmer now. Although I really can't tell because I keep the hours of someone living in Moscow.
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| ... to make something out of my life.
I am afraid. I am discontent. I am unwilling to settle.
Shall I succumb to a life of mediocrity? Will a day job and some hobbies tide me over? Throw in a marriage and some children some years down the road? Will this suffice? Will I find fulfillment?
Something tells me I need more than that, that I was meant for other things... not necessarily bigger things, but definitely... different... things.
This may be my one and only chance to find some kind of meaning, the abstract "raison d'être" that has eluded me these 23 years... and 55 days are all I have.
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